There have been countless
debates about how to help your kids become happy, healthy, successful
people in their own lives. And one effective method of preparing them
for their own lives is to give them a heavy dose of the word that not
enough kids are getting today. The word?
“No!”
All of you deal with a certain amount of frustration in your everyday
adult lives. You’re frustrated at your jobs, in your relationships, and
by circumstances that you have no control over. Over time you learn to
handle frustration better and to turn it into challenges and
opportunities that you can work through.
People who can handle frustration successfully tend to have happier and
more successful lives. They learn to be resilient and to appreciate what
they’ve accomplished and what they’ve received.
How about your kids?
Are your kids being frustrated enough? Are there high enough
expectations being placed on them? Are you saying no enough and are you
allowing them to have opportunities to be frustrated and to work through
it?
If you’re not allowing your kids to be exposed to responsibility and
frustration, and if you’re not liberally giving out the N word to them,
you may be creating monsters within the confines of your home.
Many parents have gone through hard times in their lives and naturally
want to spare their children the same fate that they experienced. They
have a very difficult time seeing their children struggling and allowing
them to deal with it. The result of this choice is that many children
today get almost everything they want in terms of clothes, electronic
gadgets, toys etc. The amount of stuff they receive and the new products
that they want keep growing every year.
It’s clear that many parents are preparing their kids for a life that’s
out of touch with the real world. The same kids who have so many
material possessions often don’t appreciate or take care of what they do
have. Why should they? There will probably be more goodies coming soon.
Fathers who say no to their kids on a fairly regular basis take a big
step towards ensuring that their kids are happy, responsible, and
successful.
Here are some specific actions that dads can take:
If you’re married, consult with your wife about
what your dose of the “N” word will be. Creating a unified front
will strengthen your position and cause fewer conflicts.
Never do things for your children that they can
do for themselves. Allow them to be frustrated and to learn to be
more resilient.
Consider an allowance for your kids, even if
they’re quite young, so that they can develop a sense of
responsibility with money and a sense of taking care of their
things.
Take stock of your children’s possessions. Do
they have way too many things? Are their some things that might be
better suited for Goodwill?
Foster an environment of appreciation for the
things you have. Model this appreciation in how you care for the
things you own and how you use them.
Limit the number and price of the gifts your kids
receive at holidays and parties. Donate or give away the gifts that
they aren’t very interested in. If necessary, talk to your relatives
and friends about what you’re trying to do.
It’s difficult at times to see your kids’ struggle
with the many challenges of being young and inexperienced.
Frustration is a child’s constant companion as they learn the many
skills and demands of living their lives.
But Fathers who are interested in having their
kids avoid pain are doing their kids a disservice. They’re more
interested in being a savior than serving their kids. The message
comes in loud and clear for them: “Your dad doesn’t think you can
handle this.”
Remember that some day your kids will figure these things out for
themselves.
And when they do, they’ll thank you for allowing them to struggle.
Are you Dad to a child with learning problems? Subscribe to
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Your Child’s Learning Success.”
Dressing Girls For School
I have spoken to so many parents who tell me it is a monumental task to get
their younger daughters ready for school in the morning. Unless your daughter
has only one set of clothes to wear, she probably wants to change her outfit
three times before choosing the one she will "agree" to wear to school each day.
Here's how we solved the problem in our family...
3 Easy Ways To Make An Awesome Playroom
Are you irritated every time you walk past your kids playroom? Paper here, toys
there, the floor is strewn with stuff that you can't even guess what it is! Most
of us feel a whole lot better when things are organized. Is it natural to be
neat and tidy or is it a skill that must be learned? We'll let you worry about
that question but we'll give you a few simple ideas on how to make that playroom
fun again.
What should you expect at 6 weeks, 6 months or 1 year? We provide useful
milestones and developmental stages so that you can keep an eye on your
baby's development in the first year. Baby Stages
Ideas For Sharing Stories
With Children
This two-part article discusses the ways in which stories and
storytelling play an important role in children's lives. Techniques are
offered for using stories to help develop children's verbal skills and
imaginations. This is part one.
Who Owns The Problem; Parent or Child?
It is tempting for parents to assume ownership and responsibility for everything that goes on in the life of their child. However, when the parent jumps in too soon to solve the problem or give the answer, the child never learns to trust his own judgment and become a critical thinker.
Parenting - Making A Schedule This article on the benefits of scheduling your day as a parent
really struck home with me. It took me a while to work this out for
myself when I had young children at home, and I wish I had done so - and
benefited from the much calmer household that was the result - sooner!
