Avoiding Sleep Associations

Learning how to send herself off to sleep is one of the most important skills you can teach your baby. The best way to teach this skill is to give your baby plenty of opportunities to go to sleep alone. This may seem hard at first – and there is not a parent alive who hasn’t struggled with this at one time or another – but in the long term you are doing your baby no favors by denying her the chance to learn this basic skill.

Falling asleep alone

Think how frustrating it is when you can’t get to sleep. Imagine if the only thing that worked, every single night, was being rocked or stroked or given a drink of milk. What would happen the one time that person who rocked you, or stroked you, or gave you your drink, was too tired or cranky to do it? You wouldn’t be able to sleep and you would get more and more frustrated and tired!

There is nothing sweeter than a baby who lies in her cot and gurgles and sings to herself as she relaxes and prepares to sleep. Your baby can learn to do this too. Some take to it straight away, others need a little coaxing. Whatever you and your baby need to do to make this a reality is worth it. Both of your lives will be the better for it.

Common sleep associations

Three common tactics used to assist babies to sleep were listed above: rocking, stroking and feeding. Other methods parents employ are bouncing, cuddling, walking up and down, singing to them, driving them around the block, co-sleeping… the list goes on and on. There are babies who won’t sleep unless they are being rocked in their prams, babies who will only go to sleep in their parent’s arms, babies who simply can’t drop off unless they have a pacifier (dummy). The more specific and habitual these techniques are, the harder they will be to break.

What is wrong with rocking my baby to sleep?

Nothing! Once or twice, when she has a cold, perhaps, or is teething. Problems start when this is the only way your baby can, or will, go to sleep. It is so easy to develop this dependence. During those exhausting early days, moms and dads will resort to anything to help their baby get some much-needed shut eye – and finally get some themselves. This is fine. But as time goes on, and things calm down, parents need to be aware of the potential problems wrong sleep associations can cause.

What is a ‘good’ sleep association?

A good sleep association is one that is easily repeatable and which is unlikely to break down or be unavailable. That battery operated light and sound show might work a treat, but what if you run out of batteries one day? It should also be one that doesn’t need physical intervention, such as rocking or stroking. A bedtime routine of a bath, followed by a feed, then a story is best. Separate toys into ‘day’ or active toys, and ‘night’ or quiet toys, and only allow your baby quiet toys when winding down for sleep.

Ultimately you will probably reach a point where you have to allow your baby to cry for a short period before she un-learns any wrong associations. Remember – you are not making your baby cry, you are allowing her to cry because she is tired and cranky and needs to sleep. Once she learns to drop off alone, the crying will stop very quickly.

More Baby Sleep

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