If you're like me, you want to teach your kids how to
resolve their little conflicts by themselves. Tattling is inappropriate
attention-seeking behavior, and the tattler is rarely 100% free of
responsibility.
Unless someone is bleeding, coughing up a lung or otherwise in danger,
the rule in my house is: no tattling. Besides, a parent could spend
their entire day mitigating sibling skirmishes! While saving yourself
time, you could be teaching them an invaluable life skill.
Here is a great formula for conflict resolution:
1) Tell the person what you didn't like
2) Tell the person how it make you feel
3) Tell the person what you want in the future
4) Person responds with what they can do.
Here is how this played out earlier in my home.
7 Year Old comes up to me with that distinctive "informer" sing-song
voice.
"Mommmeeee, 4 Year Old said SHUT UP to meeeee....!"
I feel tension because he knows the rule about tattling but I supress
the urge to punish him.
"7 year old, I just wrote down this neat thing you can do to resolve
conflicts with other people. I put it here on the fridge where everyone
can see it. Do you know what conflict means?"
"No."
"Conflict is when two people are arguing. So here goes..."
And I explain the method. Then, I walk him into the playroom where 4
year old is hiding. (He has learned that "shut up" has much power over 7
year old but since Mommy doesn't allow "shut up" he fears a little
time-out reminder.)
I walk 7 year old through it while 4 year old emerges from his hiding
place.
"4 year old, I don't like it when you say "shut up" to me. It makes my
feelings hurt. Next time I want you to not say "shut up".
I ask 4 year old what he can do next time.
"Um.....I can say sumfin nice."
Said children are playing in the living room again.
Dressing Girls For School
I have spoken to so many parents who tell me it is a monumental task to get
their younger daughters ready for school in the morning. Unless your daughter
has only one set of clothes to wear, she probably wants to change her outfit
three times before choosing the one she will "agree" to wear to school each day.
Here's how we solved the problem in our family...
3 Easy Ways To Make An Awesome Playroom
Are you irritated every time you walk past your kids playroom? Paper here, toys
there, the floor is strewn with stuff that you can't even guess what it is! Most
of us feel a whole lot better when things are organized. Is it natural to be
neat and tidy or is it a skill that must be learned? We'll let you worry about
that question but we'll give you a few simple ideas on how to make that playroom
fun again.
What should you expect at 6 weeks, 6 months or 1 year? We provide useful
milestones and developmental stages so that you can keep an eye on your
baby's development in the first year. Baby Stages
Ideas For Sharing Stories
With Children
This two-part article discusses the ways in which stories and
storytelling play an important role in children's lives. Techniques are
offered for using stories to help develop children's verbal skills and
imaginations. This is part one.
Who Owns The Problem; Parent or Child?
It is tempting for parents to assume ownership and responsibility for everything that goes on in the life of their child. However, when the parent jumps in too soon to solve the problem or give the answer, the child never learns to trust his own judgment and become a critical thinker.
Parenting - Making A Schedule This article on the benefits of scheduling your day as a parent
really struck home with me. It took me a while to work this out for
myself when I had young children at home, and I wish I had done so - and
benefited from the much calmer household that was the result - sooner!
