Dislaimer
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Diary Of A New Mum -
Week 20
Dads Have Feelings Too
Paul had a bit of a crisis this week. It
seems that fathers can also suffer from post-natal depression – this is more
common than you might think.
I can’t say I hadn’t noticed that he
hadn’t been himself lately. Before we had Jess I would have been on it like a
shot, and we’d have talked, I guess, and maybe nipped any really negative
feelings in the bud. But with my attention diverted to the helpless little mite
who does nothing but feed and poo and sleep, Paul was left to sink or swim on
his own. And, in this case, he sank.
Our doctor, thankfully, is very
progressive and understanding. He didn’t actually go to the doctors because he
was feeling low, he went for something else entirely. But she remembered me (a
bad sign – did she think he had good reason to be depressed with a wife like
me?), and asked how everything was. Cue good opportunity for Paul to open up and
tell someone, at long last, how it has been for him.
You wouldn’t know it to look at him
though. He’s really great at hiding it, which probably doesn’t help. When Jess
first came along I leaned on him heavily, and maybe I’ve taken him for granted a
little now I’m feeling so much better. Or maybe it has nothing to do with me at
all. Maybe it’s just change, and responsibility, and a normal response to the
most life-changing, earth-shattering event anyone can go through.
We have talked about it now, at length,
and I’m not going to delve into Paul’s private thoughts here. Suffice it to say,
he’s doing okay now he has a bit of support and understanding, and has had the
opportunity to talk it all out. We’ve made plans to let the world back into our
lives a bit more, and I’m pushing for him to arrange a fishing trip with his
friends – I just know that some ‘man time’ will do him the world of good.
I’ve a friend, who will remain nameless,
whose husband shows no interest in their baby at all. His life continues as it
was before, work taking priority (with the old ‘I have to earn money for you and
the baby’ as the excuse), nights out with mates, business lunches, weekends
away. Now, don’t get me wrong – he’s a lovely man and I’m sure he’ll make a
great dad when his offspring is old enough to give something back. In my opinion
– and it is only my opinion – it is a rare man who can give as much as a mum in
the really early days.
Paul is a rare man. And I’m even more
proud of him for having the courage to admit he’s struggling a little.
Jessica-Ann is a lucky girl to have such a wonderful dad. And I’m the luckiest
woman alive.
Week 21
Milk Is Not The Only Food
In which Jessica-Ann decides that our home-cooking is what she prefers (most of
the time) and I make an embarrassing mistake.
Diary of a New Mum Week 33
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