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Diary Of A New Mum -
Week 20

Dads Have Feelings Too 

Paul had a bit of a crisis this week. It seems that fathers can also suffer from post-natal depression – this is more common than you might think. 

I can’t say I hadn’t noticed that he hadn’t been himself lately. Before we had Jess I would have been on it like a shot, and we’d have talked, I guess, and maybe nipped any really negative feelings in the bud. But with my attention diverted to the helpless little mite who does nothing but feed and poo and sleep, Paul was left to sink or swim on his own. And, in this case, he sank. 

Our doctor, thankfully, is very progressive and understanding. He didn’t actually go to the doctors because he was feeling low, he went for something else entirely. But she remembered me (a bad sign – did she think he had good reason to be depressed with a wife like me?), and asked how everything was. Cue good opportunity for Paul to open up and tell someone, at long last, how it has been for him. 

You wouldn’t know it to look at him though. He’s really great at hiding it, which probably doesn’t help. When Jess first came along I leaned on him heavily, and maybe I’ve taken him for granted a little now I’m feeling so much better. Or maybe it has nothing to do with me at all. Maybe it’s just change, and responsibility, and a normal response to the most life-changing, earth-shattering event anyone can go through. 

We have talked about it now, at length, and I’m not going to delve into Paul’s private thoughts here. Suffice it to say, he’s doing okay now he has a bit of support and understanding, and has had the opportunity to talk it all out. We’ve made plans to let the world back into our lives a bit more, and I’m pushing for him to arrange a fishing trip with his friends – I just know that some ‘man time’ will do him the world of good.  

I’ve a friend, who will remain nameless, whose husband shows no interest in their baby at all. His life continues as it was before, work taking priority (with the old ‘I have to earn money for you and the baby’ as the excuse), nights out with mates, business lunches, weekends away. Now, don’t get me wrong – he’s a lovely man and I’m sure he’ll make a great dad when his offspring is old enough to give something back. In my opinion – and it is only my opinion – it is a rare man who can give as much as a mum in the really early days. 

Paul is a rare man. And I’m even more proud of him for having the courage to admit he’s struggling a little. Jessica-Ann is a lucky girl to have such a wonderful dad. And I’m the luckiest woman alive.

Week 21
Milk Is Not The Only Food
In which Jessica-Ann decides that our home-cooking is what she prefers (most of the time) and I make an embarrassing mistake.

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