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AV Baby content is for information only. If you are at all worried about your baby, please seek the advice of your midwife, doctor or paediatrician.

Helping Your Baby Learn To Communicate

Babies try to communicate in many different ways – through their facial expressions, for example, or by smiling, babbling, crying, trying to move nearer to you, with arm gestures, by whining. The techniques babies use to communicate their needs are as unique and individual as they are. But there are similarities amongst all babies, and many ways in which you as parents can help your baby to build the tools of successful communication.

Responding to your baby’s messages

The most important way to communicate with babies is to them know you have received their messages. Nod, or smile, or pick them up. Make sure your response fits what your baby is trying to communicate – if your baby is clearly crying to be picked up (holding out his hands, tugging at your leg, or any other signal you recognize as ‘pick me up’), don’t bring him a toy instead. He will be confused and lose confidence in his ability to communicate if he sees that you have misunderstood his basic message.

Don’t go to the other extreme, however, and try to respond to every tiny nuance of communication – you will exhaust yourself and your baby. Over time, he also needs to learn the skills of managing frustration and mastering patience. Balance your responses to match his needs.

Give him opportunities to initiate

Playing with your baby is the best way to build his communication abilities, so get down on the floor with him and prepare to have some fun! Communication is a two way thing, so you need to give your baby chances to initiate whatever game or play he wants to engage in. Depending on his age, this could be as simple as a game of Peek-a-boo. With an older baby it may be a game of make-believe.

Watch closely for signs that your baby wants to play. A cheeky smile, grabbing a toy, or babbling openly are all ways that your baby may initiate a ‘conversation’. Only you will know your own baby’s unique signs. Be ready – and respond in an overtly positive way, with an upbeat tone and an open expression. Make a move to join in with your baby’s play, then wait for him to take the next step. Each time such an exchange of communication takes place successfully, your baby is learning and growing in confidence. As your child grows, try not to ‘take over’ when playing together – teach him that you trust in his abilities.

Confidence and communication

Babies who are better able to communicate their needs will develop more confidence than babies who struggle to be understood and validated. This is because every time you respond to your baby in a way which validates his efforts at communication, his confidence in his abilities grows. As your baby’s confidence grows, so will his abilities. It is a positive spiral. But the converse is also true – if a baby does not learn that his efforts at communicating are successful, he may either withdraw, or develop more and more extreme ways of getting your attention!

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