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How Old is Too Old to Become a Mother? Britain's Oldest Mum-To-Be is 66.
By Lisa Marsh Britain's oldest mother! Giving birth at the age of 66! The papers are full of the news about the woman, Elizabeth Munro, who is due to become the oldest Mum in Britain in a few weeks. As you might expect, there are opinions left, right and sideways about whether this is "right." Since the news was released this weekend, Munro has taken the spotlight that was previously on "OctoMom" in California. So, what about Ms Munro's first baby at 66? The Sunday Times reported yesterday that Munro went to a clinic in the Ukraine for her IVF treatment because doctors in England will not treat infertile women at that advanced age. The NHS policy is not to treat infertility in women over the age of 39 years old, but private fertility clinics in England can be persuaded to do so into the fifties. The debate circles two issues: On the one hand, there are the health risks of the pregnancy, birth and development of the child and on the other hand, the age of the child when the mother eventually dies. From what I read, Munro is an energetic, healthy woman who has had a normal pregnancy. As the birth is imminent, she has presumably had good medical care all along. In the photo in The Sunday Times, she barely appears to be pregnant. She is a mature, independent, single mother to be. She is not seeking the publicity that Octomom courted and has asked for her privacy to be respected. She is the managing director of a plastics business, so I am guessing that she is intelligent and capable. On what grounds should this woman and her pregnancy be judged, if at all? Medical advances have made this pregnancy possible. Science has already extended the estimated average life span for women to the age of 83 from 74.2 years in 1970. Should we not take advantage of those achievements to have the lifestyle that we want, including parenting at an advanced age? Men have fathered children past the age of 66. There have been recent reports that a father's age affects the development of his child, but it didn't cause this kind of stir when Des O'Conner became a father at 72. I suspect many people thought of his virility for the first time in a decade or two and gave him a thumb up. Casting the physical issues aside then, the criticism seems to be about the longevity of the mother's life and the child's age when eventually orphaned. Professor Severino Antinori, whose treatment enabled Patricia Rashbrook to give birth to a son at the age of 62 in 2006, says that 63 is the oldest a mother should give birth, assuring the child would be mothered for 18 to 20 years, notwithstanding any intervening, untimely causes of death. Is he having a case of sour grapes because his record was bettered by someone else? There doesn't seem to be much in it to me: 63, 64, 65, 66... Those numbers don't usually equate in our minds with the phrase "new mother." Having a mother the age of the average grandmother seems to point to one all-encompassing question of fairness to the child. Within that question, the reasons that arise are her overall health and stamina as the years go on, her ability to create positive social relationships that benefit the child, and how she will cope with the behaviour, attitudes, social needs and activities of a child who is two generations younger. I must admit that I was on the fence about this issue. My first thought, when I heard of it, was "How will she cope with a newborn baby at that age?" When I last gave birth at 42, I had a nap every day for the first six months, taking full advantage of a nurse's tip to "sleep when your baby sleeps." The last day that my house was entirely tidy and clutter-free right was before the Millennium. We know nothing about Elizabeth Munro, except that at the age of 66, with a good career and no partner, she still wanted to be a mother. She didn't just think about it with regret; she went and did something about it. A woman that focused on such a controversial and life-changing goal has probably ticked all the boxes on the checklist time and again. For all we know, she may have younger relatives and friends who will be a part of her child's life, both as company and/or role models and even possibly nominated as guardians. There still lingered a certain distaste at the thought of a pregnant 66 year old, sitting uncomfortably in my mind as slightly outside the unusual and verging on the abnormal. However, fertility being my specialization and informed open-mindedness being my aim, I weighed this against the fact that plenty of grandmothers have stepped in to care for, raise and even save, their abandoned or orphaned grandchildren. The world is a better place because of older women who devote themselves, body and soul, to raising young children to be loved, loving, well-adjusted people. I'm not forgetting that Munro will be a mother, and at her age, will probably never be a grandmother. Still, it isn't for me to judge a woman who hasn't been given a chance to prove herself yet. She will cope the same way every new mother does and she will have a child who is very much wanted. Now that I think about it, maybe we should all keep our noses distinctly out of Elizabeth Munro's business and let her get on with it. * * *
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