How To Cope With Visitors

For the first few days after you’ve had your baby you probably won’t be able to move for visitors – don’t be surprised if at some point you want to stand up and scream, ‘Get out, all of you!’ From health visitors and midwives, to family and friends, not to mention your partner who will most likely be on paternity leave for a few weeks, prepare to be opening the door to a constant stream of people.

All this attention is a mixed blessing. On the one hand, you are likely to need a lot of help initially and will be eager to share your joy and excitement with those you love. The visits from midwives and health visitors are a necessary evil – they are there to make sure you are healing properly after the birth and to answer any questions you have about your newfound role as mom, so get the best possible use out of them while you can (you probably won’t catch a glimpse of a midwife or health visitor after the first few weeks).

On the other hand you may not feel much like entertaining, and it can seem as though the doorbell always rings the minute you sit down to feed your baby or as soon as you have finally managed to get her off to sleep! The whirlwind of attention can make the loneliness seem even worse later on when your partner goes back to work and the novelty of a new baby in the family has worn off.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, try and find a spare second to talk to your partner about how you could minimize the visitor-overload without hurting anyone’s feelings. If your friends and family tend to turn up unannounced you could put a note on your front door saying something like ‘Mother and baby doing fine – sleeping/feeding/crying at the moment so please don’t knock. A good time to call is... or phone us all later.’ Include a photo of the baby to satisfy nosy visitors. If your friends and family usually call first then leave a message on your answer-phone along the same lines.

There are some visitors you simply won’t be able to keep away – usually grandparents and new aunties fall into this category. A good idea is to ask them to bring something useful with them, like a home-cooked dinner or a stash of diapers. Or ask your visitors to stop at the supermarket on the way and give them a list. At least this way there is something in it for you too and it will be easier to avoid feeling resentful.

Visitors are usually happy to help around the house – in fact many are desperate to help but are afraid of doing something wrong or getting in the way. Don’t be shy about delegating tasks – this is the one time in your life when you will be forgiven for taking advantage! For the first month of your baby’s life you shouldn’t even be thinking about housework, but if the dust and the mess are getting you down then hand out the dusters and put your feet up when your guests arrive.

You might also be interested in:

Read our Diary Of A New Mum and discover what happens when Jessica-Ann comes home from the hospital and during her first year at home. This fun read is perfect for new mums and experienced mums alike! New episodes weekly.
Diary Of A New Mum

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AV Baby content is for information only. If you are at all worried about your baby, please seek the advice of your midwife, doctor or paediatrician.

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