Are we too easy on our kids these days? Certainly even very young
children can learn to be helpful around the house...
by Kathryn Weber
There’s a pattern in American households that’s been emerging and it’s
harmful for kids. Kids have essentially gone from being contributors to
the household, to being waited on hand and foot. Too many moms see
household duties as being outside the realm of their child’s
responsibilities – and their ability. It’s not only sad, it’s also
untrue.
In fact, if kids are fully capable of contributing to the mess of a
house, why can’t they be expected to contribute to its cleaning? The
problem rests with moms. As mothers we often look at housework as the
old saw “if you want it done right, you’ll have to do it yourself.” But,
that’s defeating for everybody.
Kids quickly learn that the “auto-mom” will handle all the messes,
laundry, cooking, cleaning, and other household jobs if they can prove
their incompetence. And Moms get something out of “being the only one”
who cleans the toilet right, or folds the towels like they do in
department stores. But this has to stop. Otherwise, trying to keep home
and hearth together will be a 24-hour-a-day job and we’ll end up with
children who’ll leave the home one day and not have the vaguest clue
about how to handle household duties.
Have the expectation that kids will do the jobs you’ve assigned them.
One of the things that can undermine the process of kids helping out
around the house is a parent’s expectation that they won’t do it. Expect
that they will do the jobs, check on their progress, and assign
appropriate rewards and consequences to the job, and it’s amazing how
well kids will perform.
Parents have to realign their minds that kids are fully capable - and
often willing - to participate in the running of the household and the
housekeeping that goes with it. As an example, if you asked your son to
take out the trash before dinner, remove the videogame privilege until
it’s done. Yes, it is easier to just do it ourselves, but that’s not
practical and it sets a bad example, showing kids that in the real
world, there’s someone there to clean up after you. As anyone will tell
you, the real world demands that you pick up after yourself. However,
not all kids are ready for every household task.
Training kids to clean properly also relies on giving them
age-appropriate jobs around the house -- and not expecting perfection.
That doesn’t mean they should be allowed to do a sloppy job, either. As
the Cleaning Editor of BellaOnline, I dig cleaning. That’s why I’m the
editor of this site. But, I don’t expect my kids to have the same
standards that I do. But, I expect them to be able to do an acceptable
job appropriate to their age and abilities. When my kids do a poor job,
I simply tell them the shirt needs to be refolded, for example, and have
them correct the situation to the best of their abilities.
The whole family pitches in when we need to go somewhere and have to
clean in a hurry or when we need to do a thorough cleaning. Having kids
clean the house teaches them responsibility, appreciation and care for
their surroundings, and self-pride in a job well done. That’s something
every child should experience for themselves.
Housekeeping Chores and Duties for Children
Ages 3 to 5:
Help straighten a room
Help make their bed
Bring items from one room to another
Help set or set the table
Help clear or clear the table
Bring towels to the laundry
Swiffer
Gather trash
Ages 6 to 10:
Sweep
Make their bed every day
Do dishes
Straighten and pick up
Load/unload dishwasher
Vacuum
Fold & put away laundry
Dust
Clean baseboards window sills
Take out trash
Ages 11 to Until they’re out of the house:
Sweep, Vacuum
Make their bed every day
Straighten and pick up
Operate Washer/Dryer; do laundry
Clean bathrooms
Dust
Clean windows
Do dishes/load and unload dishwasher
Kathryn Weber is the publisher of The Red Lotus Letter feng shui e-zine
(www.redlotusletter.com) and
cleaning editor for BellaOnline and is interested in helping you create
a home worthy of living in.
Dressing Girls For School
I have spoken to so many parents who tell me it is a monumental task to get
their younger daughters ready for school in the morning. Unless your daughter
has only one set of clothes to wear, she probably wants to change her outfit
three times before choosing the one she will "agree" to wear to school each day.
Here's how we solved the problem in our family...
3 Easy Ways To Make An Awesome Playroom
Are you irritated every time you walk past your kids playroom? Paper here, toys
there, the floor is strewn with stuff that you can't even guess what it is! Most
of us feel a whole lot better when things are organized. Is it natural to be
neat and tidy or is it a skill that must be learned? We'll let you worry about
that question but we'll give you a few simple ideas on how to make that playroom
fun again.
What should you expect at 6 weeks, 6 months or 1 year? We provide useful
milestones and developmental stages so that you can keep an eye on your
baby's development in the first year. Baby Stages
Ideas For Sharing Stories
With Children
This two-part article discusses the ways in which stories and
storytelling play an important role in children's lives. Techniques are
offered for using stories to help develop children's verbal skills and
imaginations. This is part one.
Who Owns The Problem; Parent or Child?
It is tempting for parents to assume ownership and responsibility for everything that goes on in the life of their child. However, when the parent jumps in too soon to solve the problem or give the answer, the child never learns to trust his own judgment and become a critical thinker.
Parenting - Making A Schedule This article on the benefits of scheduling your day as a parent
really struck home with me. It took me a while to work this out for
myself when I had young children at home, and I wish I had done so - and
benefited from the much calmer household that was the result - sooner!
