How often do you think of family life as an adventure or delightful
experience? If you and your children are having a good day, then you
might buy into this idea. However, many of you are probably laughing
hysterically now. What is delightful about the children fighting for the
umpteenth time today? Sometimes I bet your family life feels like a
jungle with screeching and swinging monkeys.
It can be all too easy to get caught up in trying to control what is
happening in the home instead of enjoying what is. God blessed us with
beautiful children and we are most in touch with that precious love when
the house is quiet and we watch them peacefully sleeping. So how can we
connect to that love and enjoyment in the midst of family life?
Spend Quality Time with your Children
Spending quality time with children requires your full and undivided
attention. Oftentimes moms are so busy trying to manage everything that
we have one ear to the children and our mind on a million other things.
Our children talk to us and we say “uh huh” without really hearing them.
We take them to their games, lessons, etc. but how much do we really
interact with them? To be delighted by your children, you need to be
fully connected to them. You need to listen and marvel at how truly
wonderful they are. Participate in activities they love. Relish their
laughter and their unique personalities. It won’t be long before your
children are grown and gone from the house.
Understand Each Developmental Stage
To really enjoy your children, you need to understand who they are and
what they are going through. The journey of a child to adulthood is
filled with a multitude of changes. It is helpful to get inside your
child’s shoes by learning about the various stages of development. For
instance, the other day I stripped my 3-1/2 year to get him ready for
his bath. I said, “Come on, it’s time for your bath.” He looked at me
with the meanest face he could muster and said, “NO!” It is much easier
to deal with the defiance if you know that a 3 year olds’ mission is to
exert his independence. Here’s this little guy wanting to grow up and be
independent, but he knows deep down, he is still dependent on mom, and
he doesn’t like that. So I picked him up and held him in front of the
mirror. He exercised his most defiant no over and over until he started
laughing. Each stage of life, from infant to young adult, brings new
behaviors and new growth. Educate yourself so you know what to expect
from your child. Sometimes just understanding that your child is
“normal” will help you relax as a mother.
Don’t Be Afraid to Discipline
No one likes being around an unruly child. Children with a lack of
discipline make motherhood stressful and less than pleasurable. Our job
as mothers is to raise respectful, productive and loving adults. In
order to do this, we need to teach our children boundaries. They need to
know what acceptable and unacceptable behavior is. You have to set
limits and avoid setting up a child-centered family. Children need to
understand they are a part of a family and each individual has their own
needs. Help them work together with other family members to create a
peaceful and loving environment. An effective and disciplined family
unit is truly a wonderful adventure.
Be Intentional about Motherhood
What would make motherhood more enjoyable for you? Take the time to
reflect on what needs to change in your family to increase the level of
enjoyment for you. Be intentional about those changes. Maybe you want to
make time to take care of yourself as a mother. Perhaps you long to be a
more consistent parent. This month I am focusing on encouraging
independence in my family. My motto is “everyone will do what they are
capable of doing for themselves.” Not only does this teach my children
valuable skills, it frees me from unnecessary responsibility and gives
me more time to be with my family. Setting intentions help you create a
life you love.
Keep a Positive Reflection Journal
How do you want to see your children and your family life? Do you want
to see motherhood as challenging or delightful? If you focus on the
undesirable aspects of your family, then that is the experience you will
create. If however, you can concentrate on the positive qualities of
your children and your journey, you will create a rewarding family life.
At the end of every day, take the time to record in a journal all the
positive things your children said or did that day. Reflect on all the
fun you had that day. Notice the wonderful qualities of each person in
your family. And on your bad days when you find yourself wondering why
on earth you ever decided to have children, pull out your journal and
remind yourself what a truly amazing journey you are on.
Lori Radun, CEC - Certified Life Coach for moms. Lori writes a FREE
monthly ezine for moms who want coaching and encouragement on living
peaceful, balanced and fulfilling lives. To subscribe, go to
http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com
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Holidays The list was long. This holiday season, I'd be buying presents,
coordinating family visits, updating lists and writing cards, doing
decorations outside the house and in,
volunteering, running a business, etc., etc.
There are times when it all seems like too much...
