Parenting in the Kitchen – Lessons in Cooking, Socializing, and
Bonding
By Lisa Barnes
Kitchens are where everything happens. It’s not just where meals are
prepared – it’s usually the hub of the home, where family and friends
get together to spend time. Cooking and eating together is about more
than nutrition for the body. It’s also the experience of connecting and
interacting with family members, to feed relationships. Try to choose
one meal that everyone comes to the table. It doesn’t have to be dinner.
This is a challenge as everyone has their own activities (especially as
children grow), but starting early promotes the importance of family
time together, and also demonstrates a healthy attitude towards food and
eating.
Socializing
• Children love playing with simple pots, pans and wooden spoons. Give
them some to play with, or buy them their own play set
• If you’re in the kitchen they want to be there too. Find a place
that’s safe, but also allows you to engage with them
• When eating, have them sit at the table in age appropriate high chairs
and booster seats
• Interact with children at mealtimes, even when just starting on solid
food
• Create a stress fee feeding environment for your baby
Teaching
There are many lessons to be learned in the kitchen. You can start
teaching very early. Cooking is a skill your children will use forever
and you’ll create fond memories together. Even a baby’s early
development can be taught in the kitchen:
• Colors and numbers – have your baby count the numbers of apples you’re
peeling and ask the color
• Vocabulary – tell the baby the names of all your ingredients and ask
her to repeat them
• Safety – show them the dangers in the kitchen - what not to touch and
why
• Agriculture – where food comes from. How do fruits and vegetables
grow? You may even consider planting a garden, so your child can see the
whole process
• Table manners – the use of utensils, saying “please” and “thank you”
• Following directions – a recipe can help with reading comprehension
and how to follow instructions
As your child ages, you can also teach them how to make family recipes
and share with them about your own childhood and family mealtimes.
Cooking
Cooking does not have to be a major event if you do not have the time or
energy. Many people think they can’t cook, but they prepare meals all
the time. It does not require a recipe book or hours of time alone in
the kitchen. You only need an imagination and a stocked pantry or
refrigerator.
• Find a safe place for baby to watch you cook and talk to them to keep
them interested – always remember to take a break and spend a few
minutes playing or hugging
• Interruptions will happen – make foods that can be prepped easily or
make meals in stages
• Allow children to choose foods and meals for the family – they can
take pride in the family meal and that they’ve contributed
• When age appropriate, allow children to help with tasks such as mixing
dough, peeling vegetables, setting the table, making family name cards
• Children will spill and make mistakes – be patient
Health and Nutrition
You want your child to grow up with healthy attitudes towards food and
nutrition. They will look at what and how you eat for guidance. If you
are always dieting and not enjoying food, you may pass along negative
feeling about food to your children.
• Have them see you enjoying healthy foods
• Avoid foods that you do not want your child to eat. If they see you
eating cookies, they will want cookies too.
• Avoid forcing your child to eat – children will eat if they are hungry
• Introduce a variety of flavors and textures to your children’s diet
• Eat whole foods vs. “fast” foods
• Create a stress fee feeding environment for your baby
• Avoid bribing children with sweets
Food and Memories
Food can remind us of special occasions, events, people, etc. “Comfort
foods” are those that make you feel good and often remind you of your
past or childhood. Usually these foods are rich in flavor and texture
(creamy, crunchy). We sometimes rely on these foods to comfort us when
we’re not feeling well or want to be reminded of a special time or
event. These foods may also reflect an ethnic heritage, culture, region
and time. They may be time consuming to make, such as a Thanksgiving
dinner or they may be quick and easy (Peanut Butter and Banana
sandwiches)
Ask yourself “what are my comfort foods and why?”, and “which foods
would I like to become my child’s comfort foods and why?”
Lisa Barnes is the owner of Petit Appetit a cooking service devoted to
infants and toddlers. She teaches private and group cooking classes to
parents throughout Northern California, and is the author of The Petit
Appetit Cookbook (Penguin, March 2005) For more information visit
http://www.petitappetit.com
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