Social Time For Babies

Social Time For Babies

Unfortunately, newborn babies don’t come with an instruction manual. Parents have no choice but to ‘learn as they go’, and often end up feeling that they are making it up as they go! Second only to feeding, the area most parents have trouble with is figuring out when to play with their baby, when to hold, cuddle and talk to him, and when to leave him alone. Understanding a little about what happens to babies when they are called upon to be ‘sociable’ will go a long way to easing the path into parenthood.

What do we mean by sociable?

Social time for babies is understood to mean time when a baby is ready and able to interact with his caregiver. Interaction for very small babies can be as simple as making eye contact – it should never be underestimated just how tiring for a baby this can be. For older babies, social time includes play, gurgling and chatting, being sung or read to – any activity where the baby has to give something back, even if that something is only his attention.

Imagine for a moment you are a tiny baby. The world is an entirely new place, where nothing except the faces and voices of your parents is familiar. Each new experience is exhausting. Looking at colors, noticing sounds, feeling emotions – all of these things wear your baby out in ways you can only imagine. Babies have so much to give, but they aren’t always capable of giving it in ways we can understand. If they turn away or cry when we smile at them, it isn’t because they don’t love us.

Understanding your baby’s social signals

Until your baby can tell you how he feels, it is important you start to look for, and recognize, his own personal signals. Don’t worry – he has them, and you will begin to know them very soon. Although each baby is undoubtedly unique, there are many similarities in the ways they instinctively show their moods and needs. Let’s look at a few common ways in which babies tells us what they want…

“I’d like to talk/play/listen”

With very tiny babies, this will be hard to notice as they may pass through the stage very quickly, and you will probably be focusing on whether they are hungry, wet, colicky, hot, cold, ill – the list is endless. After the first few weeks, their physical needs settle into more of a pattern and it is easier to notice the subtleties of their behavior. Your baby will be most receptive during his ‘quiet alert’ state, characterized by stillness, a more alert stare, clear eyes and steady breathing.

“Please leave me alone for a little while”

Parents are often surprised to learn that there are very clear signs that their babies would like a short break from stimulation way before they start to fuss and cry. These breaks can be short – try breaking eye contact with your baby for a few minutes to give him a ‘rest’. Return to the play or social time and see if he is responsive. If not, break off again. If your baby is distressed, give gentle cuddling or quiet time to soothe.

The signs to watch out for include: turning away, breaking eye contact, rubbing his face, and jerking movements. These signals precede fussing and crying, and although they can be signs of tiredness they are also his way of telling you he is finding interacting with you a bit much! If he has been awake for more than two hours you could assume it is tiredness. If not, it is probably time to take a break from whatever play you and your baby are enjoying.

Taking time to learn your baby’s own signals will pay you dividends in the long term. Much crying and unnecessary fussing can be avoided. And your baby will learn sooner that his feelings are listened to and understood – an invaluable aid to growth and communication.

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