One day my fourth-grader found himself out in the hall
at school, struggling with a math assignment.
As my son stared glumly at the math paper on the desk in front of him, a
fifth-grader who was walking by stopped and asked, "Do you need help?"
"Yeah, I was absent and I don't know how to do this," my son answered.
The fifth-grader, who had never met my son before, gave him exactly the
information needed to complete the assignment.
Two years later, my son remembers the fifth-grader's timely help.
Even better, my son remembers the older boy's example of empathy.
We all want our kids to develop empathy -- that essential knack for
understanding how another person feels and responding with kindness. We
want our children to grow up to be thoughtful, compassionate adults
who are "tuned in" to the feelings and needs of others.
Fortunately, some simple, effective strategies can help empathy bloom as
our children grow. Here are five strategies that busy parents can use:
1. Help your child describe his or her own feelings.
Kids need to be able to label their own feelings in order to understand
how others feel. "Mad," "sad," and "happy" will probably be the starting
point. From there, your child can learn words like "disappointed,"
"surprised," "excited," "scared," "thankful," "left out," and more.
So, when a child has a strong feeling, we can lay a foundation for
empathy by helping our child put the feeling into words.
2. Help your child learn to read facial expressions and body language.
Point out facial expressions and other "body-language" clues to feelings
when you look at pictures together. You might also "freeze-frame"
videos to call attention to characters' faces and body positions.
You could also play a game of "Feeling Theater." List some "feeling
words" on paper. Choose one and act it out, using just your facial
expression and body language, and have your child guess the feeling
you're trying to express. Then reverse roles.
3. Discuss how actions influence feelings.
For example, you could say, "Grandma looked so happy when you said thank
you for her gift! Did you see her big smile?"
We can also point out how behavior mistakes affect feelings: "Did you
see how that little girl put her head down after the other kids kept her
out of their game? How do you think she was feeling?"
4. Provide models of empathy.
When we treat our child with empathy, we provide not only emotional
nourishment but also a model of kindness that our child can imitate.
It's especially valuable to show empathy when our child has made a
mistake, such as knocking over a glass or milk or accidentally tracking
mud into the house.
We can also point out real-life examples of empathy in the news, in
history, in our neighborhood or in our faith community.
5. Give plenty of practice.
Watch for opportunities to practice empathy. For example, when you're at
a playground or park you might say, "That little girl looks lonely. Do
you think you could see if she wants to play with you?" Or, when you're
at home you could say, "Dad looks hot and tired. How about if we take
him a glass of lemonade?"
Of course, the more we can involve our child in acts of kindness, the
better. Cooking meals as a family to take to a homeless shelter or
making get-well cards for sick relatives can help make empathy a habit.
BONUS TIP:
When your child does a kind deed, comment on it. "Oh, you're helping me
clean up the juice I spilled -- that's being KIND! Thank you!"
Author Mimi Doe suggests putting a piece of paper on the refrigerator
door where family members can record their kind deeds. Such a strategy
can help your family create a "culture" of empathy and kindness.
With these small, everyday steps, you'll gently guide your child on the
road to becoming a thoughtful, compassionate adult.
Norma Schmidt is a parent, a parenting workshop leader and a hospice
chaplain who is certified to teach children with disabilities. Her
latest e-book, "The Parent's Bag of Behavior Tricks," is ready for
instant
downloading at
http://www.BehaviorMagic.com Get Norma's free report, "Boost Your
Child's Money IQ: 61 Ways to Raise Wise, Responsible Money Managers," at
http://www.ParentCafeOnline.com
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Norma_Schmidt
Inside The Minds Of
School-age Kids
How do we help our kids through tough times in school? I think the
biggest road block is finding out what is going on at school. Oh sure,
they will tell us about the comings and goings of kids and who got in
trouble during casual conversations in the car or at the dinner table.
But how often do they share the things that are worrying them most?
Aren't They All Our Children?
There may be no greater question for our generation. And how we answer that
question will determine the shape of our world for years to come...
Advantages Of Raising A Bilingual
Child
There is no doubt that raising a bilingual child takes a great deal of effort
and commitment from the parents. Is it worth it?
Motivating Your Children To Get Things
Done
If you have children, you know how hard it can be to get them to do the
things they should, and how frustrating. When the kids are distracted, convincing
them to take care of their household chores and other
responsibilities can be a real challenge.
Delightful Musical Activities and
Imaginative Play You Can Enjoy With Your Child
Today's parents are learning more about their child's unique developmental
process, and the shared learning experience that creates a unique bond as the
child associates learning with fun, musical play. Here are some delightful
activities you can do with your child.
How Old is Too Old to
Become a Mother? Britain's Oldest Mum-To-Be is 66.
The papers are full of the news about Elizabeth Munro, due to become the oldest
Mum in Britain at 66. As you might expect, there are opinions left, right and
sideways about whether this is "right." But on what grounds should this woman
and her pregnancy be judged, if at all?
Think You Know How to Handle These 10
Parenting Emergencies? Think Again!
There have been times over the years when I've seriously thought the words
"parenting" and "emergency" were one and the same. You probably have, too, as
kids tend to get into things when you turn your head for just a second. So,
let's look at some common emergency situations and see the wrong and right way
to handle them... Editor's note: I thought I was well-up on emergency
procedures and first aid, but this article has made me think again. Well worth
reading!
