One day my fourth-grader found himself out in the hall
at school, struggling with a math assignment.
As my son stared glumly at the math paper on the desk in front of him, a
fifth-grader who was walking by stopped and asked, "Do you need help?"
"Yeah, I was absent and I don't know how to do this," my son answered.
The fifth-grader, who had never met my son before, gave him exactly the
information needed to complete the assignment.
Two years later, my son remembers the fifth-grader's timely help.
Even better, my son remembers the older boy's example of empathy.
We all want our kids to develop empathy -- that essential knack for
understanding how another person feels and responding with kindness. We
want our children to grow up to be thoughtful, compassionate adults
who are "tuned in" to the feelings and needs of others.
Fortunately, some simple, effective strategies can help empathy bloom as
our children grow. Here are five strategies that busy parents can use:
1. Help your child describe his or her own feelings.
Kids need to be able to label their own feelings in order to understand
how others feel. "Mad," "sad," and "happy" will probably be the starting
point. From there, your child can learn words like "disappointed,"
"surprised," "excited," "scared," "thankful," "left out," and more.
So, when a child has a strong feeling, we can lay a foundation for
empathy by helping our child put the feeling into words.
2. Help your child learn to read facial expressions and body language.
Point out facial expressions and other "body-language" clues to feelings
when you look at pictures together. You might also "freeze-frame"
videos to call attention to characters' faces and body positions.
You could also play a game of "Feeling Theater." List some "feeling
words" on paper. Choose one and act it out, using just your facial
expression and body language, and have your child guess the feeling
you're trying to express. Then reverse roles.
3. Discuss how actions influence feelings.
For example, you could say, "Grandma looked so happy when you said thank
you for her gift! Did you see her big smile?"
We can also point out how behavior mistakes affect feelings: "Did you
see how that little girl put her head down after the other kids kept her
out of their game? How do you think she was feeling?"
4. Provide models of empathy.
When we treat our child with empathy, we provide not only emotional
nourishment but also a model of kindness that our child can imitate.
It's especially valuable to show empathy when our child has made a
mistake, such as knocking over a glass or milk or accidentally tracking
mud into the house.
We can also point out real-life examples of empathy in the news, in
history, in our neighborhood or in our faith community.
5. Give plenty of practice.
Watch for opportunities to practice empathy. For example, when you're at
a playground or park you might say, "That little girl looks lonely. Do
you think you could see if she wants to play with you?" Or, when you're
at home you could say, "Dad looks hot and tired. How about if we take
him a glass of lemonade?"
Of course, the more we can involve our child in acts of kindness, the
better. Cooking meals as a family to take to a homeless shelter or
making get-well cards for sick relatives can help make empathy a habit.
BONUS TIP:
When your child does a kind deed, comment on it. "Oh, you're helping me
clean up the juice I spilled -- that's being KIND! Thank you!"
Author Mimi Doe suggests putting a piece of paper on the refrigerator
door where family members can record their kind deeds. Such a strategy
can help your family create a "culture" of empathy and kindness.
With these small, everyday steps, you'll gently guide your child on the
road to becoming a thoughtful, compassionate adult.
Norma Schmidt is a parent, a parenting workshop leader and a hospice
chaplain who is certified to teach children with disabilities. Her
latest e-book, "The Parent's Bag of Behavior Tricks," is ready for
instant
downloading at
http://www.BehaviorMagic.com Get Norma's free report, "Boost Your
Child's Money IQ: 61 Ways to Raise Wise, Responsible Money Managers," at
http://www.ParentCafeOnline.com
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Norma_Schmidt
Dressing Girls For School
I have spoken to so many parents who tell me it is a monumental task to get
their younger daughters ready for school in the morning. Unless your daughter
has only one set of clothes to wear, she probably wants to change her outfit
three times before choosing the one she will "agree" to wear to school each day.
Here's how we solved the problem in our family...
3 Easy Ways To Make An Awesome Playroom
Are you irritated every time you walk past your kids playroom? Paper here, toys
there, the floor is strewn with stuff that you can't even guess what it is! Most
of us feel a whole lot better when things are organized. Is it natural to be
neat and tidy or is it a skill that must be learned? We'll let you worry about
that question but we'll give you a few simple ideas on how to make that playroom
fun again.
What should you expect at 6 weeks, 6 months or 1 year? We provide useful
milestones and developmental stages so that you can keep an eye on your
baby's development in the first year. Baby Stages
Ideas For Sharing Stories
With Children
This two-part article discusses the ways in which stories and
storytelling play an important role in children's lives. Techniques are
offered for using stories to help develop children's verbal skills and
imaginations. This is part one.
Who Owns The Problem; Parent or Child?
It is tempting for parents to assume ownership and responsibility for everything that goes on in the life of their child. However, when the parent jumps in too soon to solve the problem or give the answer, the child never learns to trust his own judgment and become a critical thinker.
Parenting - Making A Schedule This article on the benefits of scheduling your day as a parent
really struck home with me. It took me a while to work this out for
myself when I had young children at home, and I wish I had done so - and
benefited from the much calmer household that was the result - sooner!
