If you’re the parent of a toddler I’m sure at some point
you have been embarrassed by the refusal of your toddler to share his
toys, and if you haven’t - beware… it’s bound to crop up in the not too
distant future.
The first thing you should know is that your toddler
is experiencing a very normal part of development. Even the most
reasonable of toddlers will not want to share their precious belongings
at some point - it is entirely natural.
As embarrassing or difficult as this can be, don’t get too discouraged
by their behavior and certainly don’t blame yourself or your parenting
skills. Take comfort in knowing that this is simply part of your
toddler’s development and is helping her prepare for her next stage of
life.
The good news is you can gently deter this situation even before it
starts. Here are a few tips:
Distraction technique:
Distract your child with another toy or ask her to come and join you to
play on the swings, etc. without making a big deal about sharing. This
will often work as toddlers get bored quickly and she’ll probably
appreciate the distraction.
Nip it in the bud:
Anytime two toddlers are playing together it’s best to keep a close eye
on things. As soon as you see a potential situation about to erupt, dive
in there and break it up. Tempt your child with a more interesting toy
or show them a fun new game.
If your child is playing nicely and another child is trying to take her
things then distract that child. Find something similar or a close
replacement to what your child has and offer it to them. Tell them how
great it is, of course, don’t overdo it or then you’ll have two toddlers
fighting over this new and wonderful toy you’re talking about.
Walk away:
If things get really bad and your child refuses to give back a toy to
their crying owner then it’s time to take action. Gently pick up your
child and walk away. They may kick and scream but remember YOU are in
charge. Take him to a quite corner or space and wait for him to calm
down. Then give him a hug and explain that you know he really wanted
that toy but that it belongs to someone else.
Chances are your child isn’t going to understand or accept the meaning
of this but you’ve now diffused the situation and can continue to play
happily.
The aftermath:
After the fact it’s great to talk things over with your child and
explain why it’s important to share, but be realistic. Most toddlers
won’t understand the concept of sharing or why they should do it and all
the talking in the world isn’t going to change things.
As your child starts to mature, that’s the time when it’s more
appropriate to try and reason with them since they will start to have an
understanding of actions and consequences. During the toddler years that
understanding isn’t there.
Remember, although it may feel like giving in sometimes, the best way is
to avoid and/or distract your toddler. This will help diffuse a lot of
incidents before they even start - and there will be plenty of time for
confrontations in later years!
Dressing Girls For School
I have spoken to so many parents who tell me it is a monumental task to get
their younger daughters ready for school in the morning. Unless your daughter
has only one set of clothes to wear, she probably wants to change her outfit
three times before choosing the one she will "agree" to wear to school each day.
Here's how we solved the problem in our family...
3 Easy Ways To Make An Awesome Playroom
Are you irritated every time you walk past your kids playroom? Paper here, toys
there, the floor is strewn with stuff that you can't even guess what it is! Most
of us feel a whole lot better when things are organized. Is it natural to be
neat and tidy or is it a skill that must be learned? We'll let you worry about
that question but we'll give you a few simple ideas on how to make that playroom
fun again.
What should you expect at 6 weeks, 6 months or 1 year? We provide useful
milestones and developmental stages so that you can keep an eye on your
baby's development in the first year. Baby Stages
Ideas For Sharing Stories
With Children
This two-part article discusses the ways in which stories and
storytelling play an important role in children's lives. Techniques are
offered for using stories to help develop children's verbal skills and
imaginations. This is part one.
Who Owns The Problem; Parent or Child?
It is tempting for parents to assume ownership and responsibility for everything that goes on in the life of their child. However, when the parent jumps in too soon to solve the problem or give the answer, the child never learns to trust his own judgment and become a critical thinker.
Parenting - Making A Schedule This article on the benefits of scheduling your day as a parent
really struck home with me. It took me a while to work this out for
myself when I had young children at home, and I wish I had done so - and
benefited from the much calmer household that was the result - sooner!
